Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I hate myself for my inferiority. I'm decadent. In more than just one aspect. My language now won't even rival Wenyi's I think. She's one of the St. Nicholas girls from BSC and she does have a flair for writing, disproving the theory that she and Zhi Wei are merely a bimboic duo. The lax nature I took on from last year isn't doing any good at all.
Now, I just wonder...With a little indignity..With a little puzzlement...how does Shuin Jian decipher the Biology practical with such astounding speed? Or Theron grasp mathematical concepts so effortlessly? I never liked belonging to any lower echelon...But I find that I'm just slower than others. Guess what Theron said today really shocked me back to reality or I would still be living in dreams of yesteryear.
And it's worse with what's expected of me this year. I really want to do the Commonwealth Essay. But it's like someone hollowed out my vocabulary vault and tuned my strings for writing wrongly. I just can't find that compelling force that directs my writing any more. Everything's so...Conscious. Sickly planned and written.
I also have to stick to one behavioural code. A unique one of mine. I'm just tired of morphing just to fit in. And when I get too carried away...I lose myself, literally.
But how will I find myself if I don't know me?
For a start, at least I know it'll be a me that speaks properly.
Dark Memories[6:10 PM]
Toxicodendron Radicans
Toxicodendron radicans is a plant in the family Anacardiaceae. The name is sometimes spelled "Poison-ivy" in an attempt to indicate that the plant is not a true Ivy (Hedera). It is a woody vine that is well known for its ability to produce urushiol, a skin irritant that causes an itching rash for most people, technically known as urushiol-induced contact dermatitis.
Les souhaits
1) Master French and Japanese
2) Become more sociable
3) Master Toxicology in Plants, Molecular Biology, Botany and the Psychology of Persuasion
4) Be at least half as good as Monsieur Levet in Vovinam
Dark Memories
*September 2006
*November 2006
*December 2006
*January 2007
*April 2007
*June 2007
*December 2007
*January 2008
*February 2008
*March 2008
*April 2008
*May 2008
*June 2008
*July 2008
*August 2008
*September 2008
*October 2008
*November 2008
*December 2008
*January 2009
*February 2009
*March 2009
Grasswhistles
Welcome To the Dark Garden
Mon Jardin Obscur... Mes Mémoires Sombres...
La vie de joie n'est pas existe...
La vie vraiment n'est jamais juste...