Thursday, January 29, 2009
Never did turn this from an image to text:
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Snowless winter wonderland
Of rather scandalous events
Of trees burning down during lunch
Of late 10.30 am brunch
Of 100 yuan donated to beggars
Of pangseh-ing those emo laggers
Of celebrating New Year's Day
By writing thousand word essays
Of nice 25 Yuan jianbings
Of numerous BSC flings
Of watching snow at 3am
Of 40 days of coughing phlegm
yet snowless winter wonderland
Spent together with my friends.
*
Don't start on the crappy ending and basically the entire thing. I churned this out 5 minutes before we had to leave to load our luggage onto the bus, and then leave for the airport.
Beijing people, try having fun please? You poor things have curriculum to follow and all but well,
SLACK!
Dark Memories[8:10 PM]
Got this from Xujun's blog, it apparently came from a drama senior.
"Procrastination is like masturbation. It feels good, but you're just screwing yourself."
REVELATION! EPIPHANY! DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?!?!?!?!?
Ooooh, who knew?
Dark Memories[12:33 AM]
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Sigh. And they've been whisked away to the Netherlands.
Without my poison...
Anyway don't expect updates anytime soon because I'll conserve my vocab for the Commonwealth essay. Yup so no sapping me dry with blogging.
Ta.
Dark Memories[10:13 AM]
Friday, January 23, 2009
I guess today was just another day.
Chinese New Year celebration or not, it didn't make much of a difference, apart from catching up with Ephraim, Joel and Ming and sitting alongside Danielle! Oh Danielle and I were playing pokemon but stopped soon after the performance got a wee bit more interesting. The expected response from Kevin haha when Miss Siew was singing. And Danielle laughing at Kevin moaning...
Played a bit of bridge and got introduced to hearts later with Chomz, Yanyu and gang.
But it was still a dreadful day overall.
Met Lionel on the bus who brought me a little solace and nostalgia while talking to him. I contemplated his "anything" offer to intrude into his house in Parc Oasis but decided against it. Toyed around a little with RA3 patching. Played a few games which ended in defeat.
The most interesting thing that happened today would be me watching One-hour photo which was I think really insightful and fitting for the occasion. The mood that it draws the audience into, this one of...melancholy and at times, schadenfreude...I could empathise better than usual with the protagonist for the movie. It depicted the world of solitude exceptionally well. Together with the slight morbidity and twistedness in the later part, it got me into the exact mood I wanted to be in for my Commonwealth essay. And I loved the last part, that little scrap of warmth at the end that differentiates the movie's genre from documentorial/educational and horror.
So I worked on an alternative ending to the Commonwealth essay as my previous one was too abrupt I think now after getting Theron's opinion. Still perfecting it though. I went to the library to get relevant books for research too. So let's keep our fingers crossed for an essay I actually want to submit.
Why do we waste half-days really?
We could do so much more. So much.
Dark Memories[10:56 PM]
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I am usually a victim of my own mind...It just wanders too much into areas far beyond my standard comprehension...As opposed to my heightened IQ in my bamboozled state of mind.
Sigh, probably screwed up again today.
And now I stare at my draft of a powerpoint with 8 slides about a Molecular Biology sabbatical...By draft, I mean draft with just bullets and a white background...I can barely go on...I'm just totally hopeless at designing powerpoints and making them flashy, appealing or whatever silly adjective you might associate powerpoints with.
Then I shift my attention to the largely incomplete 10 page Biology worksheet who mocks me together with the "largely incomplete" Biology notes. Somehow I can't find most of the answers in the notes...And the powerpoint used in class to teach us isn't uploaded! So I shall do what Yan Yu would do, that is to stare at the worksheet long enough until the answer diffuses into you. But in this case, there is no answer to begin with so I'm awaiting some miracle that goes against the conservation of matter that enables ions or particles in the air to magically appear and diffuse to form my answers...
I hate this. I'm only stuck at Biology and I haven't mentioned the Binomial worksheet two which I barely touched...Or the Chemistry worksheet 4.1.1 whose submission rate Justin describes "atrocious" and oh yes, the ancient Chemistry homework from the December eons ago. Wow. I haven't even got to my insuppressible urge to start on my Commonwealth essay and dump everything else into the memory dumpster.
Gah, sorry to Glen and Theron whose arm(s) I scratched in the heat of the moment during pillow fights. And sorry also if I appeared crabby or something during the Nobel Laureate talk, especially at the end because I was just really tired and fed up of all the crap life's feeding me.
Oh great, I just realised there's YZZK chinese article presentation tomorrow...I'll just get someone else to do it. I'll do it next week then...
Dark Memories[9:33 PM]
Ignorance is bliss.
Knowledge is power.
Power doesn't equal bliss.
At least I understand the equation now.
Dark Memories[3:34 PM]
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
What's all the fuss about ISYF really? The only reason I'll go attend it, assuming I can but I can't, is to watch Kevin, Darren, Ng Peng and gang present their projects because I've never actually seen them present their SMTP projects. The recent ISYF opening ceremony was just to kidnap us for 3 periods and use us as fillers for the auditorium, which if not for us, would look far less impressive to the Nobel Laureates present. But missing two lessons was worth it as we got one period free (P.E.), effectively giving us a double break. Of course, I heard the PE teachers will hunt us down pretty soon and inflict upon us some unoriginal punishment like 20 rounds around the track or something.
Sigh, and this afternoon we were kidnapped again. In lieu of our practical but not all-important Biology practical, we went for the sacred ISYF formal presentation session. Most of us spent our time most wisely sleeping, doing homework, reading or worse, listening. I was doing a bit of everything. It started out relatively entertaining as I listened to all the horrid pronunciations of the JC/High school MCs as they tried pronouncing correctly with what they thought was an accent. Then it just got torturous when the maggot flatulence group presented. The first two presenters were absolute tortures to listen to. Because they kept using pseudo-American yet strangely Singaporean accents which isn't that bad in its entirety but coupled with their pronunciations...Became well, this auditory disaster. You should have heard the "My teammates and I" or try to hear the "th" sound because they never articulate it.
Only enjoyable part was when Heidi from Indonesia presented. I have to commend her really for being so passionate and knowledgeable about her project. And yet unfortunately, she needs elocution and English classes. I think she presented fine apart from the fact that she read from every single slide except when skipping long parts using the latin phrase "et cetera". Oh yes and she had one whole slide dedicated to explaining the word "bridge". I loved her opening! Basically it was a good afternoon followed by a long Indonesian greeting which she sped through so fast and we all stared in awe. Q&A was a blast! Read:
Q&A session
Heidi: I've come to the end of my presentation. Now-
(Roar of applause)
Heidi: Now if the Nobel Laureates or anyone from the floor has any questions, you may ask them.
American Nobel Laureate: Now, can you tell me why you used this shape for the design of this rolling bridge of yours? Why not other shapes like a honeycomb...or other hexagonal or more conventional structures?
Heidi: (Fumbles as she flips through the powerpoint to reach the blueprint slide) Yes. This is the bridge. And this is the sensor. This is the ship.
American Noble Laureate: Yes, you called this the steel plate. So why use this particular shape?
Heidi: Yes the steel plate rotates when the ship comes because of the sensor here. (Points to the wooden model in front of her) Do you need me to demonstrate?
American Noble Laureate: It's fine, I think the diagram is clear as it is.
Heidi: Ok. (Moves in front of the wooden model) Ok so this is the rolling bridge. There's a sensor here (Points to a part of the wooden model) and when the ship comes, the sensor will sense it and the bridge rotates (Turns the model bridge). And after the ship goes, there will be no ship. The sensor will sense it and the bridge will rotate again (Turns the model bridge).
(Audience murmurs/mumbles)
Heidi: So are there any more questions?
(Audience murmurs/mumbles)
Heidi: Ok thank you for your kind attention. Good afternoon, (insert long strand of Indonesian greeting)
(Audience roars and applauds her vigorously)
End
Well wasn't she classic? She even pronounced "concrete" as "concerrrt"!
Lovely.
And look at the extract from Jonathan Khoo's blog:
I am quite inspired by the Nobel Laureates at the Youth Science Forum, apparently, they are inspiring people, giving their life stories for us to hear and stating some of their achievements and discoveries. If only Hwa Chong held more of such talks, instead of once annually.
Lovely again!
Dark Memories[8:23 PM]
Sunday, January 18, 2009
I just sort of fully recovered from that horrendous dizzy spell I was hit by in the afternoon after finally opening one vat of unidentified chemical and SNIFFING it. That acetic rush was overwhelming. One moment I was inhaling, the other I was screwing back the cap tightly whilst coughing and little and blowing my nose repeatedly. Haha Lyinne. Very funny.
Then again, I'm very stupid. But since she insists she has given me everything I need to identify the chemical, I shall do it later since I have a hundred other things to do and I'm never productive during weekends unless it's a miracle or extremely tight deadline approaching. Anyways, I realised I don't have much time for Commonwealth essay if I don't start destroying all outstanding homework fast. So tomorrow I'll have to complete the English presentation, finish up IHC concept maps and do differentiation. And if it's possible, I'll continue with the Biology worksheet. That'll leave me with Chemistry, both worksheet and the resource package. As for work to be done in school...I must complete Binomial theorem 2. And let's not forget the Physics practical...
Sigh...I still only have some kind of a vague storyline for Tracks yet so nothing's confirmed for COmmonwealth essay. I'm still trying to think of something radically appealing but not too...Cliche or simplistic. It's just difficult to touch the heart I guess. When half of the time when writing I turn into a creature with no heart.
But still I'd like to submit a real commonwealth essay with the intention of competing. Because throughout the year it'll all be expositories and Lyinne's right, this is one of the few, if not the only one opportunity in which I'll be allowed a narrative. So I'd better make it a good one.
Still wondering how I'll make my father pay....Without directly affecting myself.
Dark Memories[10:50 PM]
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Today's choir was much better as the renditions I doled out of the Japanese song we learnt, Yagi Bushi, sounded less screechy/scratchy in my opinion with my recovering voice. The phlegm's still there though but at least my mucus doesn't flow that uncontrollably now. Still having problems with high notes but I hope that can be rectified, as in hopefully I can actually hit the note, meaning it does exist within my pathetic vocal range. Kevin's with the baritones haha for Yagi Bushi which is great really since now there's Theron, Daniel and him in the same section as me. Except Ming sigh, whose Bass 2 power is too essential in the Bass 2 section. Thanks again to the nice sec 3s who helped out a lot in teaching me the song. And evil Daniel who laughed at me when I couldn't sing *narrows eyes*
Went off to the library to meet Lyinne who gave me the most...delightful birthday present. I'd call it "botano-chemical". And even if she stated she wouldn't tell me what it was, I'd still want to rant now: How the hell am I supposed to identify vats of clear liquid???
Just assure me it's not poisonous because my mum ate one of the seeds when I told her not to.
But now, I just wish it is poisonous so I can deal with my dad.
Dark Memories[10:08 PM]
Friday, January 16, 2009
Today's debut choir session was well, interesting for the first half and definite fun for the other. So with my phlegm-ridden throat and hypersensitive nose filled with mucus, I attempted to sing. And I did. Though not very well. Or just plain bad. The entire process was just unstable, as in my voice would serve me well at some times but it betrayed me on so many more occasions. With my blocked nose I couldn't help sounding like a cow and I could barely do a single note in falsetto that didn't resemble a banshee wailing due to my phlegm inhibition. But I enjoyed the experience, immensely, really. I was quite taken aback by the level of discipline for the earlier session with the first teacher as he was just screaming LAX back at us by appearing so...Mushy? Squishy? Sickly languid? And the break which was to start at 4 got extended because he dismissed us at 3.30pm. Perhaps it's drama's influence because as free-spirited as we may be or whatever adjective the drama club is associated with, we are required to be highly disciplined in a production. So this teacher...Well, I'll follow Kevin's advice and not pass judgment that hastily since Daniel said he doesn't usually teach this way.
But we had the teacher who auditioned us come for the second session after the 4pm break. And he's good...In terms of disciplining the crowd and actually teaching us to sing, new members taken into consideration. He had some sort of mini-orientation for the new members which involved learning about the soft palate which we must learn how to control and also the controlling of our voices using our stomachs, at which point I discovered he had rather strong stomach muscles me and Theron tried "fisting" his stomach only to get pushed back when he sang. He split us into sectionals to get us to learn our parts etc. Oh yes, I assigned myself to baritone. And I finally learnt that baritones were those that flitted occasionally between Tenor 2 and Bass 1 as demonstrated by Daniel the traitor! Rawr! Who abandoned me a second time under pressure by the Bass 1-ners to join Bass 1 when given a choice by the teacher. So I was in Tenor 2 today for the Hungarian song we were singing. And well I had many problems with my high notes...and phlegm. Because I couldn't do falsetto nor use my currently Beijing-damaged voice, so I just kept silent during the high notes. The low ones were fun though and the Secs 3 (or 2s) were really helpful by teaching me the correct notes and of course, Kevin's constant reassurance! So there's Kevin and Theron in Tenor 2, with a whole load of nice people. I certainly could live with this.
Looking forward to practice tomorrow. And I completed my Chinese compo today! Handing it in by slotting it under the door of the Chinese office at 7pm. It was the first ji xu wen we've written in ages. As usual, I turned something supposedly happy and hopeful into something cold and vindictive.
Czak torpene felehet os nagy sa got....
My first lyrics...As I remember them.
Dark Memories[10:52 PM]
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Well I consulted quite a few people. And I've evaluated and re-evaluated my current position as well as weighed the various factors involved. I love Cadel. Anyhow, I've made my choice. I'm going for choir. Since I've tried to make both work but choir won't allow one compromise after the other and drama doesn't allow any, I'll have to choose one and I did. I'll justify. It's simple. Without drama firstly, I get one day off my already hectic schedule. Secondly, it just won't work in drama because I dislike all the characters except for the doctors and I feel that the current actors for the doctors are very suited for their roles so it's a no can do there. And I know I won't perform well in something I don't like. Thirdly, about loyalties to drama...Jonathan phrased joining choir as what "seems like a lack of commitment to drama". Well partly yes, but I won't fully agree because I love drama and acting and I'm not doing an entire EP3 transfer or something. I still belong to drama and that remains set in stone, in 2009 and for the next two years to come if possible. I just don't view this as a complete casting aside of drama and outright betrayal whereby I condemn drama entirely and it becomes my nemesis. I just don't think I belong to SYF for drama, not the drama club. And with this opportunity in choir which I would very much want to try out, I'd rather spend my time on what I prefer doing and do it properly as opposed to going to drama sessions with dread and most possibly not putting my heart into it (which essentially is no different from Track and Field in Sec 1). I just want to make it clear that I'm not forsaking the club because I can still take part in the production in July in another play, just without the flashy SYF title but if you insist I'm doing so in this crucial SYF period, I'll say participating in SYF isn't the "most evident way of showing where my loyalties lie" because SYF isn't all that drama is about, it never was, never is and never will be. 10 Random Facts about me. 1 Xujun
*
Tagged by Troy and I'll oblige due to his (I shall assume) declaration of alliance with his follow-up comment on capital punishment during English today.
Each blogger must post this rules.
Each blogger must start with ten random facts about themselves.
Bloggers that are tagged need to write about their own blog, ten things and post this rules.
Don't forget to leave them comments telling them they have been tagged and are to read your blog.
1. I love Poison Ivy
2. I have a sister
3. I speak French
4. I hate eggs, like just egg and only egg
5. I love how the Chinese speak
6. I currently am de-nailed
7. I am fat
8. I just joined choir
9. I was from Polevault
10. I play dota and RA3
1.Who's the person that tagged you?
Troy
2. Relationship between you and him?
Classmates and friends
3. Three impressions of him?
Marvelous MUNNER
Animal-lover
Terrorist
4. If he becomes your enemy, you will?
RUN! Or then again, propose a peace treaty and an alliance and we will plot together :)
5. What will you say to the person you like very much?
I say anything and everything because I won't speak differently to any person I like very much because I wouldn't want anyone to know would I?
6. Characteristic i like about myself?
Hmm...Pretty much nothing except that I'm a fake. Really hypocritic. But hey, it gets results.
7. Characteristic i hate about myself?
Well, continuing from the last question...Just about everything else?
8. For the person whom you hate, you say?
I said before...I wouldn't be partial in my mannerisms. I wouldn't want that person to know I hate him or her would I?
9. What do people feel about you?
Note (other) people. So how would I know?
10. Your crush?
Hmmm...I'm in the midst of plotting to crush someone's dreams so buzz off shoo.
11. Pass this to 10 people:
2 Ming Xuan
3 Jonathan Khoo
4 Yu Pei
5 Xue Wei
6 Zheng Yi
7 Shiyi
8 Hong Kang
9 Darren Lum
10 Ng Ming
12. If 5 & 7 were together?
7 would ignore 5?
13. who does 5 like?
Why would I tell you?
14. What colour does 9 like?
Green? It's just the colour of his blogskin so frankly I have no idea.
15. Say something about 8?
He's a nice guy that deserves so much more.
16. Who is 2?
A friend from SMTP and my treasured OB Sabah watch mate!
17. Talk about 3.
Well, not exactly nice. Definitely boring. But games wise, interesting Yugioh companion and laughable Pokemon opponent.
18. Who is 10's best friend?
Kate Bush?
19. Who's the sexiest among all 10?
I won't judge the degree of their sex appeal.
20. What colour does 4 like?
Grey?
21. Is 4 single?
Definitely or he's in love with silence.
22. Your relationship with 1.
Drama mates, third lang mates and best of all, VANCOME mates!
23. Are 5 & 6 best friends?
They don't know each other.
24. 9's surname?
Stupid question.
25. 7's nickname?
Don't ask.
26. Say something to 8.
Something.
27. Say something to help 9.
Something.
28. Who do i admire?
Poison Ivy?
29. Where does 1 live?
Bukit Batok.
30. 10 of them know who you like?
No.
Hi!
32. 10's spouse?
Definitely his iPod.
Dark Memories[7:54 PM]
Drama says it needs me. I could most certainly tell from today's blocking. I've talked to both Miss Chua and Miss Soh. So Miss Chua told me it all boiled down to where my loyalties lay. Yet..I beg to differ. Even if I were to join choir on a project-basis, I still am from drama and most definitely feel that way. It is partly my role I guess. Mrs Crothers asked a very interesting question today - Why do you want to act?
That got me thinking. And I got the answer just a while ago. I love acting because I get a chance to not be myself. I want to be something more than just me. Yes, I've got a low self-esteem. And that's most probably why I prefer roles with power and control over the situation and environment. To act pathetic..(With Singlish bleurgh) with the role I currently have...It just doesn't fit into the "Why do you act" equation. Of course, from today I see that the roles are pretty much ambiguous as Gregory displaced Thamsy from his role just like that. So Miss Chua says I've got a chance at a bigger role.
What Miss Chua mentioned...I've thought about it all beforehand of course. I always weigh my options and in this case...She's right. Logically speaking...It's smarter to go with drama. It's where I can shine if I do well. In choir however, without a solo part I'll be like what Miss Chua said, "just another face in the crowd". I really want to be in choir though and yet...I don't want to forsake drama, especially in SYF.
So for the best of both worlds...I'm looking up Miss Siew tomorrow to discuss the timings and well, try working something out.
If nothing does...I'll play by ear. And then consider all other factors.
Dark Memories[12:13 AM]
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I hate myself for my inferiority. I'm decadent. In more than just one aspect. My language now won't even rival Wenyi's I think. She's one of the St. Nicholas girls from BSC and she does have a flair for writing, disproving the theory that she and Zhi Wei are merely a bimboic duo. The lax nature I took on from last year isn't doing any good at all.
Now, I just wonder...With a little indignity..With a little puzzlement...how does Shuin Jian decipher the Biology practical with such astounding speed? Or Theron grasp mathematical concepts so effortlessly? I never liked belonging to any lower echelon...But I find that I'm just slower than others. Guess what Theron said today really shocked me back to reality or I would still be living in dreams of yesteryear.
And it's worse with what's expected of me this year. I really want to do the Commonwealth Essay. But it's like someone hollowed out my vocabulary vault and tuned my strings for writing wrongly. I just can't find that compelling force that directs my writing any more. Everything's so...Conscious. Sickly planned and written.
I also have to stick to one behavioural code. A unique one of mine. I'm just tired of morphing just to fit in. And when I get too carried away...I lose myself, literally.
But how will I find myself if I don't know me?
For a start, at least I know it'll be a me that speaks properly.
Dark Memories[6:10 PM]
They make me think of when I was three. When everything was still beautiful in my eyes.
Dark Memories[5:16 PM]
Monday, January 12, 2009
Well the first day turned out to be surprisingly well, full of surprises.
It started in the morning with a mini-reunion when many BSC-ians crowded at the general office to register their ez-links. And guess what? We were all early and Miss Lin was late! Then I went through all the usual "You're back!" "How was Beijing?" "Did you go here or there?" "Did you try this or that?".
What was most comforting was that Chomz doesn't hate me for his AEP project essay delay because he decided to scrap it. And yes, before I forget, Theron brought his camera and went around snapping like some artistic photographer but well...I don't know about the pictures...Literature was interesting with Mercer but very academic. PE was astonishingly fun! We were split into two groups by index number and then made to compete in relays. Well? Of course my half won! Twice. Not that it mattered because I had to run the two damn laps anyway. Math was the usual...Part-boring, part-amusing because of Mrs Khoo, part-amusing because of Theron not amused by Mrs Khoo, part-baffling because of limits and part-enlightening at the same time.
Oh and I showed Bradley BSC photos and he laughed at one particularly...raw one. Physics was nice with the first 1 hour listening to Chuasy and the last 20 minutes listening to Theron. Keep it up Miss Chua! Keep smiling and you'll be a Mrs.
And I had lunch, met Justin with Yan Yu for the Chem thingy and...
Auditioned for choir. And I got in whee!
Don't start.
I just think...I'm not all that enthusiastic about SYF drama this year anyway. Seriously I thought it would be this real large-scale production with Gregory, Yuan Jun...Blowing the SYF judges away. But...I know Werty and Thamsy are good actors as well but it's just...too mild. And with my own role I won't be able to do much anyway. So there, gold with honours? Not even Choo Jun could make it happen this year...
And so I'll invest my time in a brand new experience in choir. Believe it or not I like singing. I mean who doesn't? And this SYF...And my last year in high school...Why not? So far I have friday choir trainings clashing with friday drama trainings so I'll see what I can do about that. But I know I'm looking forward to choir, more than drama.
On a brighter note, my father challenged me to making dinner on Sunday. So bring it on!
Dark Memories[9:59 PM]
Sunday, January 11, 2009
In light of all the procrastinated crap that lies ahead mocking me, I shall have a New Year resolution.
It's kinda late but at least I try. Ok fine, that's just self-deception. I forgot the proper psychological term but we humans always try to lessen any blow dealt to us. It's a self-defense mechanism.
So here's a few things to note myself:
1) NO PROCRASTINATION
2) Try and make sure you understand what is taught
3) DO YOUR HOMEWORK
4) REVISE EARLY
5) Hmm...Constant revision?
6) Cut down on Dota and Ra3 (Pretty much accomplished)
7) Cut down on random surfing
8) Spend more time on facebook, reading, writing, blogging, cooking
9) Workout (What happened to Vovinam Xue Wei?)
10) Take responsibility in your projects
11) Detoxify yourself and be yourself
12) Be nice?
13) Be efficient and think through before any decision (Be a Cadel though it's quite impossible for you)
Well that's all I can think of at the moment. So back to Chem.
Dark Memories[10:44 PM]
So I'm stuck with Justin's chem, Chuasy's physics and Justin's chem resource package again.
Not to mention Chomz's essay thingy which I'm terribly sorry about.
So it's chop chop ahead after wasting so much time. Funny, I even got to decode one of shiyi's monoalphabetic substitution cipher things. But first things first, I have to be more efficient and organised. I finished Genius Squad and am not pleased with myself at all. I like the book but I thought the gradual humanizing of Cadel a little nauseating at times. Sigh. It was a good story but why can't the coldhearted efficient geniuses stay the way they are? Or at least have better control of their emotions?
Bad start of a new year. I'll need to change a lot of things. And that means url, skin and maybe even the blog service provider.
But all will have to wait. Until I'm back on the academic track for 2009 AND of course, Chomz's essay which I have not forgotten.
Dark Memories[12:38 PM]
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Gimme some time to sort out everything please?
I do so hate myself for procrastinating again!
It's 2009 argh.
And you know what? I take back everything I said about Xue Zheng because he's just about the coolest and ahem, cutest guy around.
A bientot then.
Dark Memories[3:21 PM]
