Wednesday, October 29, 2008
I've been introspecting a lot for the past few days.
On the bus, the bed...Even on the ferris wheel.
You'll be surprised what staring into the misty expanse of the mountainous region of Genting coupled with a pair of earphones and a mobile can do to you, meddling with your mind to be specific.
Sure, the merry facade could numb my head, temporarily, before my mind started to wander off once again.
I tried various paralyzants. Teaching my friend dota on the laptop helped a little. Taking long baths made it worse. But my main curare was reading. I immersed myself in Agatha Christie and Edgar Allan Poe, partly in view of the IGCSE writing component tomorrow.
And I just read the unusually long post from Shiyi's blog. How she has...evolved over these few years. The transition and the various decisions she had to make. I'm just glad the decisions I had to make were rather obvious and clear-cut, not to mention I had lots of guidance. She's the paragon of...well paragons. And very steelily motivated. Like a metamorphic rock. Or how it's formed at least. She gets stronger with time. Yet it's the opposite for me. She's right about the management of emotions. Clearly I have that problem as well.
Well if you can't manage what emotions course through you, you'll just have to make sure there's no conduit. Only then will pain, emotional or not, be insignificant.
Losing humaneness in the process, but naturally...Inevitable.
Dark Memories[11:56 PM]
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