Saturday, October 11, 2008
Father dearie,
I do not need you to lecture me.
No need for a psychology class, nor one on humanity nor passion because apparently that's clearly what you lack. Don't criticize me just because I laugh when some NS bloke dies or someone gets knocked down by a car. Sad as it is, humans are overpopulated and I don't really care if a few more are killed, naturally or not. And don't tell me it's the government's responsibility because what I see is birth control. Birth control hmph as if it's going to help. I don't want birth control, I want genocide. Immoral? Inhumane? Take a look at the environment, that's immoral.
Don't you dare think you understand me because you don't, not one bit. So I'm repressed aren't I not? Apparently, the years of verbal bullying et cetera from classmates have formed sort of a...rebellious mentality in me huh? So the repression manifests in me wanting to see things destroyed? Partly correct, I give you points for that. Then again, reflect on yourself dear father. What made me slant towards...Shall I say the feminine side? One, Britney. Two, Poison Ivy. Three, you. I do not believe media influences alone are that powerful. I've always liked power. I don't deny I like Poison Ivy's green motif and modus operandi but above all, she's the only one who's been able to subdue Batman, the most powerful. And you made me that way. Knowing fully I was exposed to Western influence you continued your barbaric ways of raising me. Frankly I thank you for all the beatings. Now I've grown...colder. You are the one who created the original repression in me fool. I was always subdued because of you. And I never really did anything throughout all these years because you created barriers in me. Psychological barriers that stopped me from using vulgarities, stopped me from hitting others. Psychological barriers created by hitting me from young. Loved it really. But I'm sorry to say these barriers are falling. Well, except for vulgarities, I'm vengeful. You won't believe how many times I imagined situations I plunged a knife through your heart.
And they say I'm mad! Because I can't. You really think I wouldn't have done it so long ago. Because I couldn't. I couldn't kill someone who after all raised me. I couldn't kill someone I still loved. So I seek out others I'll take my vengeance upon. I direct it elsewhere. That's why I hate all who dare criticise me so much. Those in school, those outside. I have no blood ties with them. And that's precisely why I'm ready to hurt them, and make them feel my pain.
You turned me into a spiteful, vindictive, heartless creature.
Why, thank you father darling.
No time to ramble on though, I've got plans, poisonous ones.
Dark Memories[5:55 PM]
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