Dark Garden

Monday, December 10, 2007

Finally an update. Yes yes...I'm pretty dead huh? But there isn't much to blog about during the holidays is there? Come to think of it, I prefer school to the holidays now. It's funny isn't it? Don't you find yourself bored to death during the holidays and desperately trying to find something do? And yet, during school days we groan about homework and having to go to school. It's scary how we humans adapt so fast. Give someone a pay rise and soon they'll complain that the pay isn't enough. Just a little time and we start to take things for granted. Ha, ain't that cliche.

Speaking of school, a few days back I went to ask joshlim@hotmail.com why his msn nickname was Joshua. The reason, well, Josh in class is Joshua in my essays. However, this Joshua apparently didn't even know what 2f was when I asked him if he was Josh Lim from 2f. Maybe it's just the genuine Josh feigning ignorance or maybe I've got the wrong guy. So when he asked what 2f was, I just randomly said double fallacies as it was the first phrase that came to mind. And I started to think about the last two years. How it all started in orientation when I was praying fervently for someone I knew to be in my class until the last day of school this year when we had the bowling activity. I remember myself being conservative at the start of last year and making instant enemies of Josh, Jun Xiang, Zhi Hao and gang in term 1. How they would mock me in class or not and laugh when I was doing a presentation. No doubt I shrank more, refusing to raise my hand to answer questions unless called by the teacher. After all, that is me. Fortunately, I wasn't alone or I think I would have cracked. Wei Ze did much to help and well...I realised my class had nice people. And after the whole of last year, not bad...At least I'm not picked on anymore. But life was kind of fugitive-like with track and field. I remember trying to avoid people from polevault to escape training. Plus, French shielded me from Monday and Wednesday trainings. I set my mind on going for Tuesday and Thursday trainings but they lasted for about a week before they were scraped. And I dreaded going on Saturdays. The excuses I would come up with just to escape...Haha not to mention Wei Ze who would try to persuade me to skip training. I tried quitting in May but no, that Chen the defiled dog didn't allow it. And sung kah kee was utterly powerless. And I think he didn't want to do anything anyway. I ducked and slinked back till August until Ang threatened to send me to Chen (And he would probably try to pressurize me with his persuaded creeps into accepting track and field). And I took Ang's advice. Look for the principal. Excellent idea he gave me. He was going all "I won't let you quit. Unless you go see the principal and he says you can then I have nothing to say." Well it worked. And I was out of track! And after the whole of last year, hey, life in Hwa Chong's not bad.
I do have friends or who I think are friends even if opinion is unrequited.

And this year - 2007. I fear I wasn't as low profile as last year. I was infected by Poison Ivy fever and well I still am infected. I went about Secondary Two easier. No more avoiding, slackened more, mixed more. And the class emerged as something no longer fearful...Something...closer I suppose. As much I hate to say it, Josh isn't bad at heart, he's just has a clownish and infantile mindset, an all-rounded figure, surprisingly quick wit and is a little...Spastic? But aren't we all? I remember myself going mad at the end of term 2 when the results were released. I remember myself devising weapons to use in class all for the sake for defense against people in class who would pick on me. (*cough*and some offense*cough*) There weren't many though...Hey! There was only Marcus! I remember trying to find a substitute for tear gas and I ended up using pepper. Only it wasn't potent enough. And I went crushing the dried pepper flakes Pizza Hut provided into powder and blowing them into the eyes of others. Si Heng was the first one that received the full blow...And I truly am sorry...But hey! I found out it worked. But it was too much of a hassle opening the container, pouring some onto my hand and then blowing it. This was proved when I spit on Si Heng, he spit on me and I failed to blow my chili powder in time. So I mixed the chilli with water and poured the mixture into mini plastic aerosols. Unfortunately, the flakes would jam the aerosols as they weren't soluble. Plus, the mixture would go bad in a few days. So I went on, determined to make myself feared. I remember reading a cloze passage in an assessment book titled "How to deal with bullies". There was a part that said "If someone pushes you, push back or you'll be showing that you're afraid". So I set out on reading up poisons, specifically the most readily available - Plant poisons, since chemicals were beyond me. I had already started in term 1 of this year, the Biology ace sparked my interest in plant poisons. So I tried finding dumbcane but failed because my parents forbade it. I settled on needles then after I lost my compass. I admit it was kind of funny, chasing Si Heng around with the compass. And then I was using needles in Term 3. Marcus would think twice about strangling me. However, the fiasco with Eng Chuan brought an end to the era of needles. I was defenceless...Until I realised I could wield natural weapons that were part of me. I sharpened my nails that I liked to keep long and voila! I could keep almost anyone at bay. I hereby apologise to anyone in class that suffered the wrath of my nails. Especially Jian Yi and that got swiped multiple times on the arm, Lester who had two bloody lines on his neck and Marcus who got a shiny red line on his hand. Marcus kind of deserved it since he was irritating me and then started assaulting Jiasheng but that's not the point. Of course, vovinam helped a lot. In case you're wondering what that is, it's a Vietnamese martial art I learn from Monsieur Levet and the Ministry of Education Language Centre. However, term 4 made me rethink everything. Jiasheng was right, the class isn't bad. Si Heng isn't mad. Sorry for poisoning your drink twice. But I warned you about it. Jatropa and Oleander. Both were fatal poisons...Josh isn't fat. My god, did I type that? I got dumbcane in term 4 but I decided Josh was a good guy after all. And sitting with Zhi Hao, I discovered he wasn't a retard. He was pretty clever. He was just a little too curious and lacking in the attention and situational awareness departments. And he made a great friend to have. Well, I miss everyone now. But it's too late for that isn't it? Next year, it's sad we won't have a class or so says the school management. I think that's pretty unwise though. Don't we need the camaderie? Well at least now I can play dota with Lester, Keng whye and the others...Though, I don't think I should grow too attached...But I must thank the class for all that I have benefited from it. Thank you for making me a better person and I won't forget every single of the individuals regardless of the separation. I can only make the best of what's going to happen and look on optimistically. C'est la vie, non?

Dark Memories[2:50 PM]

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