Dark Garden

Friday, March 20, 2009

For the less intellectually-endowed or perhaps, those a tad bit unobservant, it's gone.

Seriously?

I'm sorry, I'm rather afraid these days.

Dark Memories[6:15 PM]

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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I never did realise I had over 200 posts. Nevertheless, I'll stop. It's like metamorphosis. When you grow old enough, you realise...You'll have to stop some things, eventually. You'll burst out of your chrysalis, to emerge as a butterfly or a moth for that matter. And for me, this is it. I've grown really tired of this. It makes me...I don't know.

I started out in Sec 1, with the Charmed background if you remember. There were happy times, there were nasty ones. In a new environment, I guess I couldn't deal with sort of being betrayed, or not being in control. And when my closest brethren turned around to ridicule me, I retaliated. Wasn't quite nice with my SCORPIA-saturated mentality. And it was clumsy too, jumping from url to url...Deleting all my posts...Everything...An indefinite hiatus.

Sec 2 was much more fruitful. I guess the writing vibe just settled on me again and all my pent-up verbosity just flowed right out, in the form of my posts, and a semi-porno fic. Funny, my writing then seemed immature, yet the style so much more sophisticated. I would write. I would cry. I would seethe. I would glare. Music made up for much of my mood. And writing became a norm.

Sec 3 was...unexpected. I came back from another short hiatus, with my posting frequency increasing exponentially as the year developed. It was ups and downs all over again, when I expected nothing of the sort after I thought I had left 2f behind me. My posts lost coherence and had words like "lol" and "crappy" my Sec 1 self would never have allowed. Then there were the poems. Something I never did try but just came right out. All induced by emotion, just that the better ones harboured more. It was interesting to see how my writing became more and more decadent as my vocabulary slowly eroded and how my strong sarcastic front mellowed into the persona of a dying Juliet. Funny how spring turns into fall. When the floral femme fatale evolves to become the Queen of May. I just became less and less sure of myself. Ha, and I don't know why. I thought as I grew to have more friends, to talk more, to have the courage to speak up, shouldn't I have ascertained myself in cyberspace as well? I just became more faceted I guess. With more people, there was a need for more identities. And my blog became an outlet for more than just one writer.

Sec 4 me still is quite the same. Just that I'm not as weak I would say. Or have I grown weaker? But I can't fathom how the expelling of everything from my head everyday just makes me less and less cheerful. Is this how it's supposed to be?

I don't know. But I know this has to stop.

Yours fatefully,

Yao Nian.

Bottomline is, IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON TO WORDPRESS MY BABIES!

Dark Memories[5:31 PM]

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Monday, March 16, 2009

Anything I'm Not --Lenka--

I will never be
I will never be tall
No
And I will never be
Never ever
Be sure of it all
Oh, why is the world
So cruel to me
When all
All I ever want to be
Is anything I'm not

Gimme a break
A little escape
I am so tired
Of being me
I wanna be free
I wanna be new
And different
Anything I'm not
I'm not

I will never be
I will never be you
No
I will always be
I will always be me
That I know
But oh
Even though
I'm happy being me
I want to get away
From all
This harsh reality
Oh

Gimme a break
A little escape
I am so tired
Of being me
I wanna be free
I wanna be new
And different
Anything I'm not

Yeah
Gimme a break
A little escape
I am so tired
Of being me
I wanna be free
I wanna be new
And different
Anything I'm not
Anything I'm not
Oh
Anything I'm not

Gimme a break
A little escape
I am so tired
Of being me
I wanna be free
I wanna be new
And different
Anything I'm not

Yeah
Gimme a break
A little escape
I am so tired
Of being me
I wanna be free
I wanna be new
And different
Anything I'm not
Anything I'm not
Anything I'm not
Anything I'm not
Anything I'm not

*

Met Jonathan Khoo at Orchard today. What are the odds really? He was on the same bus all the way from Hwachong, as he most helpfully emphasised, and I didn't notice him. For the record, I was reading a book. Nevertheless, it's no excuse. I can't be so careless next time...I sneak up on people, never the other way round. Oh yes, something piqued my interest, funnily after so many years, while browsing through the men's section for the black shirt required for choir.

You've seen men's underwear on sale right? They come in those semi-plastic/cardboard boxes that never fail to have this almost nude guy posing there with the underwear. Which makes me wonder...What is it with showing pecs and all, and some even to the extent of showing the entire model, when the merchandise in question is underwear? Shouldn't they show how elastic or durable the underwear is by putting pictures of gadget-testing of the underwear or at least over-sized family jewels?

Adverstising really.

Dark Memories[8:27 PM]

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Saturday, March 14, 2009

Newspaper collection today at Taman Jurong. Realised that Ispark Sec 1s are really interesting. One was just really prim, proper and addicted to handphone Pokemon Crystal. Another kept talking, talking, talking and talking until Jun Yi said "Shut the hell up", silencing him once and for all. Then you have a few others here and there to complete the group. And as gifted as they may be though, they're still kinda immature with the name swapping and stuff. Me, Guo Xin and Timothy took a group of 7 Sec 1s and Guo Xin as usual was being a retard. He kept going on with his derogatory remarks about HDBs and effectively offended every single person that lives in one, following which he narrowed his scope, offending every one that lived in a Taman Jurong HDB. He then exacted his revenge by slotting in two (or more) of the same flyers into letterboxes...Cute. Oh there was also one which he tore into half and fed each half into different mailboxes...So I "cursed" (That's what he said) him to live in a poor family in the next life haha. But still, grrr...He finished like half my can of pringles, wouldn't clear up the mess, convinced me to slack and took away half my packed lunch! He hasn't really changed much has he? Oh yes, I commend Siheng, for reaching the school at 9.15am or so thinking there would be a bus to Taman Jurong when we were supposed to report at the Taman Jurong Community Centre at 8am, and then changing buses just to reach TJCC and join us for the newspaper collection! Bravo! Pity I couldn't go out to lunch with them because of choir.

I beat Danielle at arm wrestling today whee! Although it was technically his weaker arm since I used my left arm but of course, he owned my right arm flat, literally. And Zhi Yuan kept laughing because I once again had to use a song while competing. I decided that Partir La Bas was too gentle, resulting in my defeat in BSC. Hence I switched to Pauvres Ames En Perdition that was sung by the sea-witch Ursula in The Little Mermaid since that song helped me win quite a few shoddybattle battles. So my strength augmented and diminished based on the song's ups and downs and halfway I slammed down Danielle's arm muhahahahha. Though I believe he's technically stronger...But I think I made him laugh too much or the song's having this pseudo-placebo effect on me. Tennis was once again a fiasco. I was using strength perpetually and never really knew how to aim. So I practised Vovinam while Danielle and Zhi Yuan played. Then I attempted to fight Danielle with him equipped with the tennis racquet, and got myself a horrible bruise on my forearm.

Zhi Yuan sort of got the lifting soft palate concept into me today but I think I'm still doing it all wrong. I actually got it once in the car when I unconsciously replied my father while I yawned. Well, I suppose that's a start. Before 23rd April! Shall just keep yawning!

P.S.: Maple Story is still the most meaningless game ever! And Danielle needs to work on his panda-throwing skills.

Dark Memories[11:05 PM]

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Friday, March 13, 2009

You're green, because you can't make your own food.

Well then, don't be. Because you have got to have your premises, your chlorophyll, carbon dioxide and water. Get them and quit whining.

Perhaps then you won't wilt in the sun anymore? You're perpetually in the sun's glow really, you just need to use that energy darling. Drink it all in. Don't poison the light anymore.

And no one showed me the logic after all these years?

Miss Isley, Carpe Diem please.

You'll love yourself more.

Dark Memories[11:22 PM]

Britney Spears - If U Seek Amy

Britney Spears - Just about the closest thing to a derangedblonde vampire that returned from the grave to lead a mass orgy. The choreography's decent if you ignore most of the cavemen dancers. And halfway through she turns into Granny Goodness draped in this candy floss cardigan, carrying what resembles a plastic pie. Not to forget that gigolo she hired to be the husband together with the other two children which are probably unfortunate subjects of paedophilia. Right, so far I'm only liking the reporter.

*

I'll have to lift that silly soft palate of mine. Any ideas how to?

Dark Memories[8:55 PM]

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Thursday, March 12, 2009

Ever felt like skipping? Skipped my way down to the canteen today, probably with a whole lot of dopamine running through my system. Sabbatical's a blast, because I'm trainer! :) Which kinda means I get augmented ACE and get to set the killer quiz to fail everyone MUHAHAHAHA! People in the sab are fab as well, with Chai, Han Loong, Edwin, Weize, Cheong Keat, Timothy, Ng Peng and of course, Miss Teo! Even with her inexperience in mentoring and stuff, she's a nice teacher to work under because well, she's just too nice! Oh yes, I'm in the butterfly sabbatical if you don't know yet. So we study and catch butterflies etc. Been to the Butterfly park and Pulau Ubin on Tuesday and Wednesday respectively. So far I've pinned down a preserved butterfly, studied wing patterns and scales and oh yes, caught myself a praying mantis. And now, I'm creating the marking scheme for my killer quiz.

It was a lovely morning before the sabbatical today. Weize, Cheong Keat, Guo Xin and Daniel there. Sigh. It was nice catching up. Especially seeing Guo Xin with his usual antics, or rather theatrics as we talked.

Bubblegummy Byes!

Random term I coined while listening to The Show by Lenka.

Dark Memories[5:21 PM]

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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

"The biggest happiness is to see someone you really like stay happy." -Tomoyo Daidouji-

"You cannot change or erase the past. However, the future is always in front of you." -Clow Reed-

"That is why you should live your time to your fullest." -Clow Reed-

*

That got me thinking.

Dark Memories[8:14 PM]

Didn't know crying on the inside would hurt so much more.

Especially when you're all smiles and laughs.

Dark Memories[3:59 PM]

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